You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize
