pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
