There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
