sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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