FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
