How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
