guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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