we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
