after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Mom said you looked used
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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