There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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