My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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