my shit smells like andre
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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