Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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