I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish my penis had a tongue
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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