Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
