My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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