I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
