My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
no, he came in my armpit
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
