dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
