It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
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We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico