hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn