why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
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I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon