Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  That would be awkward if he commented on your status

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom? (1-705): That would be awkward if he commented on your status http://tfl.nu/877y
  Replies (18) Good night (1053) Bad night (2883)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds. http://tfl.nu/6mgz
  Replies (41) Good night (4352) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth? http://tfl.nu/fdur
  Replies (45) Good night (973) Bad night (3840)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl
  Replies (38) Good night (1942) Bad night (5430)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp
  Replies (16) Good night (2418) Bad night (2654)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you http://tfl.nu/d6cu
  Replies (8) Good night (1207) Bad night (3059)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha http://tfl.nu/w49q
  Replies (2) Good night (915) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again! http://tfl.nu/h5pv
  Replies (2) Good night (1426) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk. http://tfl.nu/i2nj
  Replies (3) Good night (1082) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi
  Replies (4) Good night (1454) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.

  (1-510): View more from California

  First world problems?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents. (1-510): First world problems? http://tfl.nu/77p2
  Replies (5) Good night (2591) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable. http://tfl.nu/14d9
  Replies (3) Good night (1656) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play. http://tfl.nu/5k4o
  Replies (6) Good night (1323) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me http://tfl.nu/g4wr
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything http://tfl.nu/pfkq
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (896)

Randomize