Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
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Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
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just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going