I wanna passion pit in your ass
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name