Sry I called you an 8
apparently the secret to your success is patron
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.