So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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