I chose taco bell over sex...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall