Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?