well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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