I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
where does the pee come out of this thing
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
