69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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