We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
