she was so not down for the gang bang
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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