Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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