Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
