I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She's JV to your varsity
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
