i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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