problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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