I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
