nut hugger
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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