I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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