forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
