I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
