I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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