you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
