beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
