so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
