what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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