There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
