when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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