Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
