Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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