so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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