Where did you get a picture of my penis
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
