Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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