god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
