Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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