I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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