Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms