I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm