dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
21 Sketchy Drug Deals That Are Scary AF
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean