I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
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My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.