Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My ATM looks so different sober.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize