So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize